I found both of these on the net, they do a great job in describing what it is like to live with fibromyalgia.
I am posting these, not because I am depressed, just the opposite. I want people to be aware of what fibromyalgia is, and what it is like to deal with this illness.
I am not depressed thankfully, I am actually doing pretty well in that department, thanks to friends and family who care.
I have a lot of things good in my life. I appreciate the fact that I am so blessed.
Regarding my health though I have to live day by day with different levels of pain.
Today has been an awful pain day.
Here are the symptoms of what I am dealing with in the here and now regarding fibromyalgia.
Light hurts my eyes
Sound makes me nervous
I am having a hard time concentrating
Headaches are a constant
I have a sore throat and my voice fades in and out
I am having a hard time walking because the pain in my feet is so bad
The ache in my entire body is a constant
I am tired, I want to sleep but can not unless i take sleeping pills to dull the pain.
Each day is different truth be told. Sometimes the pain is worse, sometimes it is better. I never know until the day arrives.
The last few days I have dealt with my pain well.
Yesterday I went to the printers when all i wanted to do was crawl back in bed. Today I cleaned my house and unpacked boxes for our new bathroom. Tomorrow I go back to the printers.
When you have fibromyalgia, you either let it control your life and your days, or you fight through it, and find a way to work through the pain, and LIVE.
I blog about the bad times with fibro because it is my life, and it also helps me keep a journal that I can look back on and see whether the fibromyalgia is getting better or worse.
I just wish there was a cure. One that worked for me. One where i can say someday this pain will be gone.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Posted by Tracy at 9:33 PM
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Posted by Tracy at 8:53 PM
MY LILY GIRL IN MOTION IN HER RACE TO GET TO ME
A Challenge from my twin has been issued to those who are in blogger land. She challenges everyone to share some funny or cute stories on their blog to make others smile or laugh. I think it is a wonderful idea. I do not know if i have a funny story as much as a cute one to share with everyone. It is of course about my Lily girl.
Buying Lily girl was probably one of the smartest decisions I have made for not only myself but for my entire family. If you have an illness of any kind, whether it be physical or mental, buying yourself a pet is a must in my opinion. Animals have a way of brightening ones day. In my case when i am at my lowest point or having a really bad pain day, Lily has a way of making me laugh or smile. She brings me such joy!
Lily who sleeps beside hubbies and my bed, in her own little soft puppy bed wakes my husband and I up each morning in a very quiet manner. ( That is if i hear first try, if i do not hear her she gets louder. lol) She stands on her back paws and with her front ones starts pawing at my bed. You here the scratching of the covers, and that is her sign she wants up so she can cuddle a few minutes with me and hubby in the bed. I precede to pick her up and put her up on the bed where she then gives my face a thorough bath. She then moves on to my hubby and makes sure his face gets lots of love to. lol She feels satisfied then, and precedes to crawl over the two of us (she has no problem walking all over us. lol) to find the perfect spot to curl up and sleep in. This lasts usually a whole 15 minutes of sleep time, before hubby and i decide to get up , since we both are now fully awake and can not go back to sleep. Hubby and i go down stairs to have our coffee leaving lily sound asleep on our bed.
As hubby and I are taking that wonderful first sip of coffee we hear lily jump off the bed ( she discovered we have left, and is soooo shocked that we left her all alone in the bed!) she runs full speed down the stairs, and as she is running she slips and slides around the corner trying to get traction, her little legs going a hundred miles a minute still slipping and sliding trying to make all the twists and turns along her path where as I then know I have exactly one second to put down my cup before she leaps and jumps up onto my lap and rushes for my face! I then get my second face wash of the morning. Her little body is still moving she is so happy. Her tail is wagging away,and she has a happy look on her face while giving me that bath. I can not help but feel so very loved and happy myself. :) She then feels her job is done, and curls up besides me going back to sleep while feeling content knowing all is right in her little Maltese world.
So there ya go sis, I hope this brought a smile and maybe even a little laughter to your day!
Please head over to my twins Blog and join in on the challenge also. I personally think my sister was brilliant in issuing this challenge. We all can use some laughter to start our day! Hugs and blessings sent your way!
I am off to continue my work in getting the perfect print! Laughs, getting the perfect color print is hard work!
May you all have a blessed day.
Posted by Tracy at 7:49 AM
Friday, July 25, 2008
Picture taken by me on my vacation.
I am back! I am also well rested and feeling stronger then ever. I had a wonderful time with my friend and her family. We spent our time shopping, going out to eat, chatting, painting, reading, and exploring the area we were at. ( Picture above was taken by me yesterday when we were out exploring. I loved the old barns and rock fences!)
Her family welcomed me with open arms. I was very afraid that they would not like me, but that fear was quickly put to rest several hours later when my friends mother said I fit right in, and started calling me her adopted daughter. She kept saying you are a keeper, and actually asked my friend to let me stay for several more weeks, saying she could come get me later in the summer. Laughs! Both my friends parents spoiled us. They will be missed that is for sure.
They took us shopping for antiques. I was soooooo excited to find some wonderful old saws! Yes you heard me right, I said saws...... I actually bought four! Two saws were very old two man saws.... which has A handle on both ends with a long blade in between. They are used to cut down very large trees. I have been looking for one for several years now and couldn't find any. I found two of those! Woooooohooooo. Does a happy dance.
I also lucked out and found two rare old ice saw's! I was overjoyed. I was like a little girl on Christmas morning. I was so very excited. Laughing!
My friends and the shop owner looked at me in shock thinking what in the world is this "prissy" looking lady doing buying old tools! Laughing (Ok maybe not prissy, but i am very lady like, just ask my Twin or Tart) My whole face was alight with pleasure, and i could hardly keep my drooling or dancing under control when purchasing these tool gems!
I turned to everyone and with such excitement said I am going to paint a scene on them, and either keep them and hang them myself or sell them! Then it made sense to them.
My friends father just beamed and said thats my girl! Come over here and i will show you some other rare tools!!!! Laughing, I am so happy!! I could not believe my luck! I can hardly wait to get my hands on those to paint. Here are the pictures of the saws i bought.
Two Man saw! Not only is this saw used by two men but Yes I have twooooooo of them!!!!yayyyyyyyy rubs hands happily together with glee.
"Ice Saw" made in the 1930's
Antique ice saw giggles I am so happy with these finds.
As you can see I had a wonderful trip. I feel relaxed, happy, and exuberant!
I did miss all of you in blogger land, and feel blessed knowing I was missed. I am looking forward to catching up on all of your blogs. I am also ready to plunge into this new online adventure of selling prints of my art also. Thank you for all your wonderful comments while I was gone. First thing Monday morning I am going to go back to the printers and see if they can get better matching prints.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
Hugs and blessings sent your way.
Posted by Tracy at 4:26 PM
Sunday, July 20, 2008
While writing this post I thought how lucky I am to have such a wonderfully supportive group of friends. From the bottom of my heart know that I feel blessed knowing i have such great network of friends in blogger land and off.
With out all of you in my life giving me support and encouragement I would not have experienced the healing I have. I thank each and every one of you.
This last week has been rather interesting. I learned a whole lot about this new business adventure i am embarking on.
I learned that seeing one proof is not enough. I learned that even after looking at the proof and approving the colors, it can still be printed out all wrong. I learned to request the proof to be taken of a certain location on the painting, because some parts of the painting have less color therfor the proof can be totally correct for that area, but the other areas of canvas might have a ton more color and those colors can be wrong when you go to print! I learned that you should order only one print, even if you think the proof turned out great... lol
That being said, I learned that this is a long process. A worthwhile process, but a long one. Now I have to go try again and order another proof done on this same painting. At least I know where to guide them in taking a proof now. I also know that this will take several days,and several trips, so be prepared for a long week.
I learned I should only order one print at a time until i am 100 percent sure the prints will be exactly what I want.
I learned that the prints are more expensive then I originally thought therefor I need to price my prints higher then I was planning.
This site is going to take longer to get up running then I was hoping for. I think in truth that it is a good thing, because I am learning so much. I have had to really think about the kinds of prints I want to sell. I have discovered that my husband takes such awesome pictures that one will actually see the canvas through the painting! I have asked around, and was told how Perfect this is and told that in the end having such a great resolution picture taken makes the print that much more valuable.
My first reaction in seeing the canvas in the print was.... hmmm will my costumers like it?
Some people when I asked this question to said that seeing the canvas makes the copy a print... Not a poster. Its as true a replica of the painting as one can get.
What do you all think? Is it better to see the canvas through the painting in the print, or would it be better not to have that showing?
Another question for everyone: Each painting i have done has its own special story.
I thought it might make the painting that more meaningful if I were to include it with the prints. What do you think? If a person knew the background of the painting would this make the painting more meaningful and valuable when purchasing?
Last but not least I wanted to share that I have been invited by a close friend to go off with her and visit her parents for several days. I have decided to go. We will be leaving on Monday, and returning sometime on friday. I think I need the time away to relax.
This will also allow my husband to get more lacquering done in the house with out me here. I get so sick when he does this. It will be good for me physically to be away during that time. I am very much looking forward spending time with my friend. She also paints so we plan on spending time painting, relaxing and in general just enjoying time together as friends.
I wont be able to post until I get back from this trip. My friends parents do not have internet. :)
I hope you all have a wonderful week, and i look forward to catching up on all your blogs when i return!
Hugs and blessings!
Posted by Tracy at 5:50 AM
Friday, July 18, 2008
I received this in my email today from a friend, and thought it was to darned cute. It is also kinda scary because I think most of the country can relate with this.....
I live on a farm and times are pretty hard as the area I live in is considered economically depressed. It's so bad, that I've heard some of our neighbors were having a hard time making ends meet.
This morning, I woke up to hear a knock at the door. When I went to answer the door -- this is the sad sight that I saw. It just about broke my heart...!!
Please scroll down, to see for yourself...!!
Posted by Tracy at 5:53 PM
Thursday, July 17, 2008
NIGHT LIGHT first stage
Here is the start of a new painting I am working on. I think the name is going to be called "Night light". This is stage one.
During the first stage I painted the sky, moon, and tree and mountain line. I am hoping to add a tree in front of the moon, and other trees in the tree line that look more like real trees. I might change it up some by putting the sky even lower. I am not sure yet. I am hoping to work on highlighting the clouds and the moon a little bit more. I want them to almost glimmer in the moonlight. I might darken the sky a little bit more.
So far when I stand back and look at this painting it already brings me a sense of rightness, and joy. The colors are not showing true to form in the picture though because once again I took the snap shot with my phone cam. lol. I will try and get a picture taken with a real camera.
I remember when I was in my teens (about 16 years old) and living up in the mountains of California with my family. We were living at a place where there was a very small island in the center of a small pond. I would go out onto that little piece of land and sit at night looking up at the moon, stars and the very tip of the trees. I loved being out there during the night. That place was my little comfort zone where I could sit or lay back on a blanket relaxing, and just thinking of things only a teen girl thinks about.
One night the moon was soooo huge, I felt like i could reach right up and touch the moon it seemed so big. It was a summer night with a light breeze, and the clouds were so mystical looking. It was a night to dream. This painting is based on those feelings and visions I had that night. I felt such peace and I felt a connection with God in that small moment in time.
Isn't it funny how one can remember certain feelings and moments in ones life?
We shall see if I can continue to capture the feelings of a 16 year old girl while doing this painting.
Hugs and blessings
Posted by Tracy at 2:14 AM
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
***For some reason blogger wont post the picture! You can go to Mikes site, copy and paste the picture from his site... Not sure why blogger is messing with me today. lol Its the Brilliant award. Click on Mikes name below to get to his site.
I have been awarded this lovely award from Mike. Thank you Mike. You have once again touched my heart for picking me to receive this. I have been asked to pass it on. Everyone on my list deserves this award because if i am reading your blog, then i think you are rather brilliant.. lol
I can only give it to a few though, and can not repeat to people already given this award. So I think i will pick only a few, and give another special award to my other blogger friends later on.
I would like to award this to My amazing friends:
Awake In Rochester
and last but not least Dr.Deb
Please pass on the award to those you think are brilliant! hugsssss
Posted by Tracy at 9:22 AM
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I am sharing a couple pictures of my Lily girl because she makes me smile. I can sure use the smile right about now. :)
The first picture is before her haircut. She is playing with her favorite toy. It squeaks!
The second picture is after getting her hair cut. She loves sitting up at the window so she can look out and see all that is happening outside our house.
The last few weeks I have been slowly feeling worse. Between storms, stress of a few personal issues, and hubby putting a lacquer on all the baseboards in the home (smell from the lacquer is really strong) my fibro has been acting up big time!
I also have noticed bruising again popping out all over my legs. Which is a sign my bleeding time is high again. Hopefully the bleeding will not get to bad. I have to be careful, or my stomach will start to bleed again. That takes forever to heal!
The lacquer is very strong smelling, and i noticed last year that i started to feel sick when he added lacquer to places in the home. Bleeding then was impacted also. I have had the worst headaches also. The headaches are so bad that light hurts my eyes.
That all being said I have not really felt like doing much of anything other then closing my eyes and resting. I have been very tired, and sluggish feeling lately. Pain has become worse, there are days when walking and putting pressure on my feet brings tears to my eyes. Needless to say because of all this my mood has been rather low. I have been careful not to comment to much on others blogs for fear of writing something depressing instead of uplifting. I am sure this will pass... hopefully soon, and I will be back to my regular self. :)
Even with the pain, and tiredness I have been forcing myself to get up and move. I have been going to my drawing class. I wont get into talking about the class because at the moment I have nothing nice to say about it. So the rant will wait.. lol any howwwwww...... Thats life i guess.
An update on the new site i am having made to sell prints of my paintings. It is going slow. I expected such. When starting up a new business of any kind it takes time. That is if you want to do it right.
Right now i am working with a printer in getting the colors just right on the first print. I have found a web hosting place that is excellent. They will actually integrate my new site with theirs. They have great marketing, as well as great tools to work with. I am so very excited to get it all up and going! As soon as i have the prints ready i will then give the ok to start my site. I have to run back and forth to the printers which is over an hour away for now, checking proofs, and deciding on print sizes. That is taking time...... I have to keep reminding myself that this will happen in "Gods" time not mine.
That is it for now. I am off to rest before having to call the printers!
Hugs and blessings!
Posted by Tracy at 7:46 AM
Monday, July 14, 2008
Awake In Rochester tagged me with this meme - It's all about ME!
I am:A child of God, A wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, but most importantly I am a lady who believes in herself now.
I think: Of all the different paintings i might create.
I know: Where I am headed in life, and like the path i am on.
I have: Many blessings in my life.
I wish: I could take all the pain away from those i love and care about.
I hate: When people think they know me, but know me not....
I miss:My Mother who passed away over 10 years ago, my family in California, and friends who do not live near me.
I fear: And I should not fear. Fear only holds one back in life.
I hear: Birds singing outside my door.
I smell: Coffee brewing.
I crave: God's Love, and Creating art.
I search: For new techniques in painting.
I wonder: If I am doing what i should be doing in the eyes of the Lord.
I regret: Wasting time in arguing with others. Life is way to short.
I love: Life, and the people in my life.
I ache: To many days... Grrrr darned Fibromyalgia.....
I am not: One to hold a grudge. (for very long at least) lol
I believe: In God and In Myself.
I dance: At the beach when no one is around.
I sing: Quietly, because I can not hold a tune....
I cry: For all who are in constant turmoil in life.
I fight: through my pain each and every day.
I win: I already won... I have the Lord in my life, my family who i love deeply, wonderful friends who fill my day with joy and I know who i am.. I have healed from a painful past... in my book that is winning.
I lose: Nothing by trying.
I never: Say Never, when i do it always comes to pass...
I always: Try and be the best woman i can be.
I confuse: To many people i am afraid...
I listen: So i can learn.
I can usually be found: Reading or painting.
I am scared: of hurting others feelings.
I need: The Lord in my life. With out him, life becomes meaningless....
I am happy about: Being a mother. My sons are healthy, smart, and kind hearted. That makes me happy.
I imagine: Myself with all those i love and care about seeing Gods face one day.
I would like to tag...
This was fun to do. I hope you enjoy sharing about your wants, needs, and ideas.
Posted by Tracy at 7:05 AM
Saturday, July 12, 2008
(Picture taken by my husband)
To believe is to know that every day
is a new beginning.
It is to trust that miracles happen,
and dreams really do come true.
To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds,
To know the wonder of a stardust sky
and the wisdom of the man in the moon.
To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart,
The innocence of a child's eyes
and the beauty of an aging hand,
for it is through their teachings we learn to love.
To believe is to find the strength
and courage that lies within us.
When it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again.
To believe is to know we are not alone,
That life is a gift and this is our time to cherish it.
To believe is to know that wonderful surprises
are just waiting to happen,
And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.
If only we believe.
Poem by : Unknown
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. -- Hebrews 11:1
Posted by Tracy at 5:42 AM
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Posted by Tracy at 7:56 PM
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
(Picture taken by my husband on the sunset tour.)
My vacation is officially over. My youngest son had a wonderful time in the Bahamas. He arrived home tired but very happy at 1 am this morning.
My other son is still in Governor school. We saw him on Sunday and he too was having the time of his life. He still has two more weeks to go before he arrives home.
I am happy both my sons were lucky enough to be able to participate in such wonderful vacations.
While my sons were gone, hubby and i took full advantage of the "alone" time. On one of those days we went on a boat tour in the general area. We chose the sunset tour. I am so happy we did! I thought I would share a little bit of the tour we took. Hubby took so many neat pictures, i had to be choosy in which to share with you. I hope you enjoy the tour!
The first picture is of the work being done on the bridge that goes into the town. The bridge was built in the 1920s and has fulfilled its purpose. You can see the huge cranes that they are using to take the old bridge apart with.
After leaving the dock the tour guide took us to a place where he saw two eagles sitting earlier in the day! He was hoping they were still there. We got lucky!! We could not get close enough to get a great picture, but if you look there are two eagles sitting on a pole way out yonder! (You can click on each picture and the picture will get larger.) This is how our trip started out. Even though they were far, we could see them through binoculars. It was an exciting start to our trip.
The second part of our tour we went to see our local light house. We had a great view of it from the water.
The next part of our trip on water was an area toward the ocean. The sun was just starting to set, and all of a sudden we were surrounded by dolphins! The tour guide said this rarely happens! In fact most go on these tours and end up disappointed because dolphins are hard to find! I would say more then 20 dolphins total were around us. They were everywhere we looked! Hubby tried to take lots of pictures, however dolphins are fast! So he kept getting the ripple where they dived under the water. lol. He was able though to get several pictures.
The sun was rapidly going down, yet we all were so enthralled in watching the dolphins none of us wanted to leave, isn't God just wonderful? There is nothing more beautiful then Gods very own wonderful creations in my opinion!
We finally decided to leave before it got to dark.
WE had to say bye to the dolphins... :( How exciting though and special they made our trip.
Last but not least on our way back to the dock we were able to see this beautiful tugboat. I made hubby snap a picture of it I thought it was so pretty.
Posted by Tracy at 6:48 PM
Monday, July 7, 2008
Walking with out fear in God's guiding light
Poem by: Tracy Jo
She lightly walks down the moonlit path.
The star's above allows her spirit to shine.
She wanders along the waters edge and hears the call of God's sweet voice.
Knowing with out doubt that her path is set, she shows no fear in the starlit night.
Not knowing where exactly she goes, yet sure in her heart that God's grace knows...
Stopping, to silently listen and wait. The wind blows lightly against her face.
Looking up she sees God's sweet face.
The moon and stars are all smiling down, knowing that angels are here to guide her now.
She walks with out fear for God's love is near.
Her path is set, her destiny clear.
Story behind the poem and painting.
One night I woke from having a dream. The dream was so vivid, and so very real, I decided to get up and jot down what I was doing in the dream and what I was feeling. The next morning I took that dream and wrote a poem. The dream stuck with me for days. I decided that I should paint that very dream. I tried to express not only the images on canvas, but also show the deep feelings of the dream. I printed out the poem and now include the poem along with the painting. I taped the poem on to the back of the painting.
***Unfortunately I was not as smart when I painted Fallen Angel. That painting was also from a dream and a poem I wrote out. I had written it on the computer, and can not seem to find it. I think I lost the poem when my computer broke way back in Feb. I will continue looking. Now I know I need to print out any poems I might write and add them to the back of the painting!
Posted by Tracy at 9:50 AM
Saturday, July 5, 2008
The votes for the top 5 paintings are In......and the winnerssssssss areeeeeee
HEAVENS GATEWAY Lead winner
RAY OF HOPE Number 2
SPIRITUAL ENERGY Number 3
SUMMER NIGHTS Number 4
REAL MAGIC tied for number 5
FREEDOM tied for number 5
The votes are in!
Heavens Gateway is the number one painting that most people voted on. The others were close in running though. There is even a tie for the number five spot.
Thank you everyone for your votes. It gave me a real understanding and appreciation for what people like and do not like regarding my work. Although most of you said you like all my work! :)
I had some surprises truthfully when looking at the votes. I had no clue Spiritual energy was so liked, or for that matter Masked lady! I thought those two paintings were a little to abstract or surreal looking for people. Apparently I was wrong in thinking that.
This has been a wonderful experience for me in that now I think it will allow me to allow my spirit to soar even more when I paint. Abstract or not! I have a harder time in painting in an abstract way, mainly because I am afraid people will laugh or think it is to strange. Clearly though that is not the case!
When I painted Spiritual energy, I thought a pink tree! I struggled with it, and actually tried painting over it with white, then had to step back and say no pink was right. (Truthfully it was my instructors idea to go pink.) I thought PINK! I rebelled in painting that color right away... and thought Huhhhhh???? He said trust me , it will give you the feeling you are looking for. ( My instructor and I talk about all my work, and the effects, impact, or feelings i am trying to express. He knew I wanted to paint the energy I was feeling deep in my soul. He was right in that pink was spot on! It did give me the tree life, and energy.
Masked lady was also a stretch in creativity for me. I was unsure where I was going with it. I intentionally was painting in an abstract form, but was struggling in the process. A friend of mine asked me to paint a mask./ She said just feel, and let the feelings and art come out. Paint.... Just paint from the soul. It is so hard to just let go and let what ever comes from the soul to be seen on canvas. At first I was painting only swirls. I felt so many emotions that day, and the swirls represented that emotion. Mixed emotions..... all competing with one another, yet swirling and combining as one. I feel so many people in life hide behind masks. I wanted to express all that was behind the mask in the swirling emotions. So many times people are hiding more then what people see. One emotion might emerge for a person to see, yet at the same time there is another emotion right on the surface starting to emerge. That is the reason for the eye in the top corner of the painting. The end result was a bit scary for me. It showed so many things, and I was not entirely sure I accomplished my goal. I am told I did.
I have to share something with you all. My youngest son was upset with me when I listed the paintings. He personally has two favorites of my work. They are Lady dreamer and Fallen Angel. The reason he was upset, is because those two paintings have a poem that goes with them. Those paintings were dreams of mine. I woke after the dreams wrote what I was feeling and seeing in my dream down on paper. I then wrote a poem, where I then painted on canvas the poem.... The lady in lady dreamer is actually me. The fallen angels is a representative of myself and my sisters. We all fall at times, we also all have needed to be picked up after those falls.
My son felt the paintings were not displayed in the right manner. He felt I should have stated and listed the poems with those two paintings. He thinks that makes a huge difference when viewing the painting. It adds extra meaning to each painting, therefore making them better then most of my work. Laughing... So on Monday I will list those paintings and the poems that go with them. :) You all can decide if he is right or not. I would post them now but I have to get to my drawing class! Laughing
I hope all of you are having a wonderful weekend.
Posted by Tracy at 5:36 AM