Very Funny in a sad sorta way

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This is fun and pretty cool

I did this today, and it worked! Not sure why or how, but it was fun.


YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT
Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know!


YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH


This is pretty neat.

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute .
Work this out as you read ...
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)


2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)



3. Add 5


4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757 ....
If you haven't, add 1756.


6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.




You should have a three digit number




The first digit of this was your original number
(I.e., how! Many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2007) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

Every moment is precious

Dance
As though no one is watching you.

Love
As though you have never been hurt before.

Sing
As though no one can hear you.

Live
As though heaven is on earth.

Live life fully

“Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)




To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
"DON'T !"

"Don't what ?"
Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
God said.

"Forbidden fruit?

We have forbidden fruit ?

Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! "


"No Way ! "


"Yes way ! "

"Do NOT eat the fruit! "
said God.

"Why? "



"Because I am your Father and I said so ! "

God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked !

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? "
God asked.

"Uh huh,"
Adam replied.

"Then why did you ? "
said the Father.

"I don't know,"
said Eve.


"She started it ! "
Adam said.

"Did not ! "

"Did too! "


"DID NOT! "

Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY !

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you ?




THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.


2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.

In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own.

6. We child proofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.


ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:



"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!