Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Coming out of the fog and into the light

I know I have disappeared from not only blogger, but from most of my friends in general. I have done so for many reasons. I have had many health issues of late to deal with. Problems that have brought me to a halt in most areas of my life. I have not wanted to talk about any of my health issues because it is all the same ole same ole issues. My way of dealing with the pain has been to disappear into a game online. The game has brought me a sense of being able to do things that I could not do for real. I know some do not understand. I do not think one really can unless you are dealing with chronic health issues.

Another way of dealing was just pretending all was fine in my life. I tend to do that when I am really really hurting. ignoring problems tend to come easy for me. Maybe it is because I have had problems all my life. If you do not focus on the problems then you do not have to deal. :) I have been doing just that.

I have been slowly feeling better. I feel like I am just now coming out of the fog, and seeing light again. Just in time too! We are moving into our house soon. I have to deal with packing and moving, and unpacking! I will try and keep everyone updated.

Thank you to those who have not given up on me. Thanks for still caring enough to pull up my blog and see if I posted anything.

This poem is for those of you who have not given up on me, and those of you who still come to my blog to read my thoughts. You know who you are!

Cherished Friends
Author Unknown

God must have know there would be times we'd need a word of cheer,
Someone to praise a triumph or brush away a tear.
He must have known we'd need to share the joy of "little things"
In order to appreciate the happiness life brings.
I think He knew our troubled hearts would sometimes throb with pain,
At trials and misfortunes, or goals we can't attain.
He knew we'd need the comfort of an understanding heart
To give us strength and courage to make a fresh, new start.
He knew we'd need companionship, unselfish....lasting....true,
And so God answered the heart's great need with Cherished you!!


'Tart said...

Ah, I just spent forever typing up a post for mine (now a draft, its not up). For some mysterious reason I was getting really personal (but in a blogable way, I think) and I came up with the fact for me, I don't get friends, or keep friends at bay, because I know everything's great when I meet them (or else why would they come back?) but at some point the mean, cyclical monster ugly side of me will show up. I 'protect' friends by keeping them away, besides the embarassment of seeing me so 'untogether' etc. And of course, I see this as a 'bipolar' problem as who else could possibly have this. All of this is a recipe for being alone. And that is what I am most of the time, except for my pets, and except that it just doesn't seem to bother me. Maybe because its safe.

Well, I don't know what has gotten into me, why I gotta type so much. But you are not alone. I mean you're alone in your place, and I'm alone in mine...:) Now you are busy and that will take up your thoughts. I also discussed how bipolars feel vibes, that they are in touch with feelings sometimes, it seems to border on the paranormal. Maybe that just comes with suffering.

I wish you well in packing and enjoying your new house. I am so wiped right now, to be honest, I mean it in my blog when I say, 'Just about losing it.' So there's gonna be an upswing sometime? Fabulous.

Raine said...

its nice to see YOUR words finally. I am glad you are back and sorry you had to suffer

trinitystar said...

Sorry to hear that you have been suffering.
You are very brave to return. Sometimes it helps to talk ... there are many people in the world that can relate to how you have been feeling. Keep well ... keep posting. :o)

keepers and john said...

even though you have "returned" you are still in our thoughts and prayers, the journey is not over, and we wish you the best during this house moves. Please take care and know there are a lot of us out here who care about you.

peace and blessings

keepers and john

wolfbaby said...

Im glad that your starting to feel a bit better. it's always important to take care of yourself!!!

Marj aka Thriver said...

Thank you for letting us know what's going on with you. I think of you often and am wishing you blessings of peace, love and hope.

S'onnie said...

Sorry to hear you have been unwell and had a not so good time. Its good to see you back. good luck with the moving and I look forward to seeing you write in your blog again


the 5th of november said...

After a long time..finally I'm able to leave a comment on your page, thanks God!
I saw the pics of your new home..and it should be one warm and lovely place to live!
Here is a poem I picked for you.
Wish you get better everyday.


Between moment and earth the heavy stem is not afraid
Companion! We have joined the eternity of flowers
Let your eyes shine by sands and moving stars
No mystery leaks from the crevice of looking
Neither there is a trace of fear in this lime
Nor the image of surprise over the azure dome
Immerse into the song of bird
The anxiety of flapping wing casts no shadow on your face
No picture evolves
In the eagle’s flight
The blackness of thorn can’t blur the eye and looking
And beyond
Amid the cluster and the sun
The roar of sickle tore apart
Amid the smile and the lip
The dagger o time broke
God bless!

Anonymous said...


I check your blog anytime that I'm online checking mine. My heart feels for each time I do not see a new post because I know that you are dealing with your health issues and a silent prayer goes up for you.

I'm glad you have an outlet that helps you throught those times. I'm glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better. Pace yourself with all that you must accomplish as I'm sure that too will have its toll on you.

We all are here for you whenever you need us. You bring a special compassion to our day as well, so we're not going anywhere. If you want to share the burden of your pain, then we will be the ones to offer those words of comfort and encouragement that you might need to move forward.

jumpinginpuddles said...

we thought it might have been us we were getting worried i guess, thanks for the reassurance, many safe hugs JIP

Fallen Angels said...

Hope things are getting better and that you enjoy your new house.


Irene said...

Wherever you are, you are always in my pleasant thoughts and prayers. Take care and God bless you, dear Mysti! =)

krystyna said...

Hi Mysi!
Your post is full of beauty. Thanks!
I had few days very happy and hard, my new baby was born /my blog-amazing abilities.

Peace be with you!

Dr. Deb said...

Sometimes we need distance from things and people we love to find ourselves. I hope you can find your tethers more and more.

Hope said...

Depression and chronic pain ca be a big black hole. I'm glad you are stepping into the sun. At times, it is much easier to avid, than participate, but as you feel better I hope that things become easier. Glad to see you back.