Monday, October 6, 2008

I have been pretty bad at posting anything personal of late here on my blog. This is mainly because i was detoxing lead out of my system once again, and this time around it had made me pretty sick. I felt i had nothing positive to share, and all i really wanted to do was disappear and not talk about how bad i was feeling.

I am finally done with the major detoxing part of the program! yayyyyy. So now i will be doing a very light detox program in order to try and keep toxins from rebuilding in my body.

The moment i stopped the major detox i have gotten busy painting. I am working on a series of three painting's this time around. I want to paint a continued woodland snow scene as a practice run for the huge woodland scene i am planning for my great room.

I am having so much fun painting this series. I am so excited about them. So far i love how they are turning out. The picture i posted is just the start of my work on these paintings. I still have so much to add on it. It will have some greenery, and in the background i will add some bushes, as well as near the trees I plan on painting a fox sitting or playing among the trees. I will then move on to the second painting and third where i will continue on with the same kind of trees, and theme, and hopefully add a deer, and a owl. The last step will be making the paintings appear as if it is actually snowing.

I could not take a good picture of the painting because once again i took it with my phone cam, so it does not show how soft or how real the trees look. (Maybe i need to ask for a camera for Christmas? laughs)

When looking at the painting in person one actually gets a sense of not only peace, but happiness. I believe that this set of three paintings i am doing will be some of my best work.

Other then painting, I found out this week that my general doctor in this area went out of business with out telling me! I found this out the hard way when i reordered some medicine i have been taking for 15 years and the pharmacist denied the order! I called the doctors office and found out i now have a new doctor who does not prescribe the med i need! This new doctor also does not do something as basic as clean ears! She denied me treatment! I was in shock. All i could think of is are you a doctor????? lol I have never heard of such a thing! Sooooo now i am looking for a new doctor. I am will most likely have to look hours and hours away, because in my area there are no doctors that treat fibro, lead poisoning or specialize in my bleeding disorder. What upsets me most is i that this new doctor i just went to was more then willing to take a chance with my health and make me go cold turkey of the med i was taking for 15 years. I finally looked her straight in the eye and said to her i can understand you not wanting to prescribe this med for me, but....... are you willing to let me go through major withdrawals??? Are you willing to have me call you while i am going through these major withdrawals????? What do you recommend me doing to deal with the withdrawals? She finally gave in and said fine I will prescribe you one month of the med. So I have one month to find a doctor! In the mean time i am cutting back slowly on my medicine just in case i can not get in to see a doctor in time.

The one good thing that came out of this visit to the doctors office is that i saw a huge sign advertising a new YMCA in my area! They are going to start water aerobics class three days a week, starting next Monday! I have decided to join the class. This is the one form of exercise that has been recommended for me to do since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. This is the first time i have seen a class offered in my area! My area is very rural. I need to lose weight so badly, and i am hoping this class will help get rid of the pounds, or at least help my health problems some! I am very determined to lose this weight. In fact i am so determined that on the top right side of my blog i put a widget that shares how i am doing with losing the amount i need to lose to be considered healthy! It was a huge step for me because i do not like others seeing just how much i need to lose! I am hoping that talking about my weight here on my blog, I will get some encouragement from you my blogger friends. The class will be on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays. I am pretty excited about the class.

A little about why i have gained so much weight. My doctors have told me it is not because I eat the wrong foods, or eat to much. My eating habits are not the reason for my weight gain. I have gained weight because of the lead in my body has messed up my thyroid and metabolism! My thyroid is way out of wack, and i do not absorb the natural chemicals my body makes in order for my metabolism to work right.

The goal for my doctors have not been about my weight, but getting the lead out of my body so my body will work normal again.

However..... I am totally frustrated at how much i now weigh! I feel so fat! I feel unattractive, and it depresses me when i look at myself in the mirror. I am hoping that by adding this exercise class, it will at least give me peace of mind that i am doing all i can to be healthy. I am hoping that it will help give me peace of mind that this weight gain is not my fault! Even though the doctors keep telling me it is not my fault, and not to worry about it so much, seeing the pounds keep adding on is frustrating me!

So i am eating right, I am following the doctors regarding my detox program and now i will be exercising consistently. I am hoping I will know deep in my heart that I am doing all the right things........Even if i do not lose.... I will know that I am doing all the right things.

That is about it that has been happening in my little world. Haha ok it is a lot!

I am now off to paint!

I hope every one has a blessed week!


Tamara said...


Wow...what makes your body hold onto lead like that? It sounds very dangerous!

Don't even get me started about doctors and the way they control medication for patients who are being responsible with it. It frustrates me to no end! I know with my lupus and fibro sometimes I just NEED pain pills. I have taken them for years and have never escalated my use. I monitor myself very, very closely because I am terrified of addiction. When I go to a new doctor, I first ask for a consultation appointment and I lay out what I am taking and my feelings about medication. If they can't handle it then I just move on to someone else.

Anyway, good luck. It can be so frustrating!

The painting is beautiful and I am glad that you are still inspired and feeling like painting.


Tamara said...

Oh, me again.

Good luck with the weight loss. I have been there and know how difficult it can be. I think you will love the water aerobics class. I used to do that and it was good exercise, fun and easy on my muscles and joints.

Take care,

Deb said...

As I'm sure you know. lead is very dangerous to the body. Where is the lead coming from? Do you know?

Mimi said...

it seems that now you have to completely manage your own health...because the doctors don't even care if you are taken care of or not...
praying for you as you search for a new doctor...
I love your new painting...and I am anxious to see the end result...

Denise said...

Dr's a necessary evil! and YOU GO GIRL and get to that pool....... I signed up at our local college and started swimming today!!!!! It is wonderful exercises and it is so good for the stress and the out look on life.......... soooooooooo you get in there and give yourself a gift of life........Be good to your self.............

Mike Golch said...

just stoped by to say hi.

'Tart said...

Dear Tracy,
I am so sorry about that doctor. I think you handled her Very Well! Kudos to you!:):):)

Also, your painting is looking lovely, and I'm so glad you are excited about them and working so hard on them too. I know it helps take your mind to the beautiful places that you paint, and that is wonderful.

I immediately noticed your widget for losing weight. That is cool!!:) I thought maybe I should put one up too and we can support one another. (But then I would be horrified, as mine is waaay more to lose than you! I'll have to think about it.)

My weight seems to go up and down though, which is a 'little' frustrating. For me too, my medication affects my weight, but I have proven in the past that exercise can beat it! We can 'water aerobic' together and get results, Girl!!:)

I am glad you are feeling better and are back to painting. I'll TTYS!

Tracy said...

Thanks for the comments everyone!
Tamara and Deb the doctors and i can only guess at where the lead came from. We think it was from growing up in the smog in late 60s and early 70s. Back then everyone used unleaded Gas, and it was in the smog big time where people were breathing it in. A lot of people who grew up in that time period in the L.A. area are finding out they have lead poisoning.

Mimi it sure does seem that way! I will be sure to show my painting as it progresses.

Denise I read that on your blog! I tried to leave you a comment and blogger said i already left you a comment and would not allow me to send you a second time. Blogger is messing with me!

Yayyyyyy Tart, i am happy that I have a friend who is going to be doing the same. We will encourage each other!

Hugs everyone!

Awake In Rochester said...

I never heard of a Doctor leaving without notifying his patients. That's not right at all!

A very good camera would be a great idea for Christmas, so people can see your pictures like you want them to.

Mary said...

Hi Tracy, I just love the painting.

I have trouble with my weight also, the meds made me gain alot of weight, but since last July for some reason I have been losing weight, which is great, I have lost almost 40lbs now. the dr did blood tests, and everything came back normal, so don't know why I am losing but just hope it keeps up. Good luck with yours, and continue your beautiful painting. take care my friend. xoxox Mary

Jade said...

Sorry to hear about all the uncomfortable detoxing. I can't imagine that to be much fun. I have to ask, how are you ingesting lead? That can lead to so many issues as I'm sure you know.
Best of luck to you in finding a new doctor. My prayers are with you on that. And good luck on the painting series! Sounds like a great distraction from the detoxing for you :-)

Hopefulsl said...

Hey Sis!
I know that we already talked on the phone about all of this, but thought i would still come by and read everyones comment and to say that I LOOOOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH....I really hope that swimming exercise is going to help you out. At least its fun and not so hard on the body. Take care my sis, talk to you soon.
Hugs & Hugs & Kisses too!

Tracy said...

Awake, Never heard that happen either from a doctor. Not sure why he left with out informing me.

Mary I wish i was losing, and all tests were normal for me! It is wonderful for you. :)

Jade I think i will write a new post regarding my lead poisoning. We can not be 100 percent sure why i have lead poisoning, but a lot of people who were living in LA in the late 60s and early 70s are now finding they have high levels of lead in their bodies. It is not discovered until these people hit there adult years.

Stacy i love you to! lots... I called about the aerobics class and they are full! There also is a huge waiting list. I am now on it. Aww well i think every one is thrilled that they are having this class. There is no where around here that has water aerobics! Guess i will have to wait my turn.

Hugsssssss everyone.

jumpinginpuddles said...

we are so sorry for your pain :( but glad you cna paint again it is out in the open please read and feel free to comment"