When God speaks he expects to be heard.

Lately the same theme keeps arising in my life. I keep coming upon the words "Open the eyes to my heart Lord". I am hearing them all through my day and through my night. Whether it be in dreams, or bible studies, or even during my quiet times.

I hear the words over and over in my soul. I have sat quietly and heard the words, I have felt the words in my spirit, and seen the words written out.

I become confused truthfully because i know the Lord is talking to me. He wants me to hear him, and I sat wondering this morning why? I thought my eyes were open, I thought my heart, soul, and spirit were open to seeing.... Only to have the Lord speak louder to me. To open my eyes!

I opened up my bible today to read and study the word. I have a womans study bible. In this bible there are little stories written through out the chapters of the bible from Christian women, trying to help one relate with the passages in each book. Today i was reading the book of Romans. During this reading a woman by the name of Jennette Lockerbie talks about Romans 7:14-21. I would like to share what I have read.

Troublesome Me

A wise woman once said, "The person I have the most trouble with is the person I see in the mirror every day."
Surely this is an honest admission. What Christian has not sincerely grieved over her own spiritual shortcomings: over "doing those things I ought not to have done"
No follower of Christ was ever more acutely conscious of this very trait and tendency than the apostle Paul. We might take comfort from this thought. But to allow ourselves to be trapped in Satan's snare--wallowing in despair -- is to disparage the limitless, liberating grace of God.
Let us then not linger in this valley of spiritual desolation. There is a way to get rid of "troublesome you," or "troublesome me". The cry, "who will rescue me"? (Romans 7:24) echoes to the very throne of God. The reply, ringing with triumphant deliverance and assurance, echoes to our very ears.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)

How does this relate to me opening my eyes? I am a strong believer in Christ. I believe I am saved. I however keep worrying that my past mistakes, my past sins makes me unable to truly reach out and help others, or to share Gods word with others. I keep thinking that i am not worthy, that I have sinned to much, and who am I to reach out to others? Yes I know i have been forgiven. Yes I know I know I have been saved. However what makes me think that I am worthy enough to be used by God? To believe that I am good enough to teach or help others do what I myself did not do in my past? I consider myself one who has sinned so much in my past, that who am I to show anyone the way to Christ?

God shouted at me again to OPEN MY EYES! He then proceeded to show me today through another devotional study i am reading. In this study i read "If you can't imagine God ever delivering you from the corruption of evil desires and bring forth a great harvest through your life then you have bought into the Lie that God's promises do not apply to you."

He has shown me that "He knew me before I was even a thought. He knew me in my mothers womb, and has already seen who I would become. HE saw what i would do , the mistakes I would make, as well as the plans he has for me.

Who am I to tell God I am not good enough to do his work?"

Ephesians 1:18 says, "I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you".

God knows the plans he has for me. If only I would open my eyes and allow him to show himself to me, and his plans he has for me.

I best start opening my eyes to my heart, allow myself to truly see......

So here I am.... "Open my eyes to my heart Lord, I want to see you."


On a side note: I have been slowly learning to knit. It has taken me a lot of practice, pulling out all my stitches and restarting. I have had to reconsider what my first project should be. Knitting a shawl as my very first project is not something I should be doing. I have had to focus on something much smaller to start out with. I am now making a scarf. A simple one. God has shown me in this area also that I need to slow down, and allow myself time to learn. He also made it clear that Praying through out the whole process is important for me. This scarf that I am knitting is to be filled with prayers regarding my future, and prayers for myself regarding the Lord. It keeps my eyes focused on him. It keeps me in prayer, and allows a closeness with God. :) I will show my progress soon.

Hugs and blessings.