Picture taken by: Mehdi Adilian


My Heart regarding my twins situation.

I have struggled coming up with the right words for a post regarding my twin and her situation.

All week I have been praying and trying not to worry about what is going on with my nephew. There have been times in the week where my heart has broken because of the hurt and pain I feel regarding this situation. I have been on the phone listening to my sister cry, and I have cried with her. I have wanted to drop everything and get on a plane to be with her in this time of need. I have had to stop myself from doing exactly that, and thatis very hard on me.

I have to say my twin is one strong lady. What she is dealing with is probably one of the hardest challenges a mother can face. I have seen a strength come from my twin that not only amazes me but makes me feel such pride in her. I know it is taking every ounce of strength and courage she has to stand firm in what needs to be done.

I can only imagine the battle going on with in her soul. The mother in her is rising up and wanting to protect her child, to hug him and shelter him. While the other part of her knows she can not. She has to stand firm and do what she knows will save his life. This is taking every ounce of energy she has. It is draining her I am sure.


I am extremely protective of my twin, and tend to go into a quiet place when she is in pain and hurting, no words have come to me here in blog land. Instead I have kept myself busy in my own life tending to things that need to be done, and keeping my worry as low as possible.

I have been changing a lot of bad habits in my life. One of those habits is trying to fix situations that I have no power to fix and or have any control over. I have to stop trying to save the world, and allow God to do so instead.

I have learned the hard way that everything in life needs to be handed over to the Lord.

Prayer is a powerful tool, and I have been shown that it is more important then I could ever imagine. Its been a hard but valuable lesson for me. Part of why i am always so sick is because instead of doing what I should have been doing all my life ("praying and allowing God to work his miracles, and love" ) I have instead stressed and worried over things beyond my ability and control.

My twin did give me permission to write up what is happening in her life with her son.


I have been praying about how much i should share, and the what words I should write. The Lord has been talking with me regarding this situation. The Lord has shown me a couple of things.

First I want to say that God has been making his presence known in my life all week. Sometimes stronger then at others. I find I hear him more clearly when I am in prayer and am sitting quiet with him. So I have had to calm my soul, and allow all things i am thinking and feeling to be removed and simply sit with God and listen.

He has shown my that he is with Stacy. He has also shown me that he is working in her life. He is with her every step of this walk. I am to step back and allow God to be with her. Basically I need to not run to California and try and "fix" a situation beyond my control. He has shown me that my presence will actually hinder any help she might receive and I would only be in the way and be make things more stressful for my twin. She has enough stress and worry in dealing with her son.

He has also shown me that I need to pray. Prayer is what is needed. I have been shown that I am not to write in detail all that happening in her life. As much as I love her and worry about her, the Lord is showing me that I should not write to much regarding her situation. He has my nephew and sister in his hands.

What I wrote on the bottom of my post last night about my sister is all I am to write.

(On top of all this, I have been very worried about my twin sister and her son. I have a prayer request for them both.

Things have gotten worse, and she needs all the prayers we can give her. Please pray that God will open all the doors needed for my sister and her son. Please pray that God will guide her to the right people, people who can help, and keep her son safe. I do not want to go into details, because that is for my sister to write about when she is ready, but I will say that this situation is very serious, and heartbreaking for everyone involved. Please pray that she will have the strength, courage, health, love and grace needed to deal with this situation.)

I am going to practice what I have been learning, and allow God to work in her life. When my twin is able she will share what she feels God is leading her to share about her life with her son.

The picture I have added with this post pretty much says it all. God is always with you, if only one will see and allow him to be.

The picture was taken by a close friend of mine, someone who lives in an area of our world that is very harsh, and he has had to allow God to walk with him, because with out God life is very dark where he lives. He is a very talented artist, and it shows in his work that God is clearly walking with him.


“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and don't lean on your own understanding. In all things acknowledge him, and he shall direct your way. [Proverbs 3:5, 6]”

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)”